Bin Laden shows up, begs not to receive his 72 virgins

A tape, purportedly made by terrorist bin Laden, surfaced today. In it, Uncle Binny takes his cue from his useless idiots in the mainstream media, accusing President Bush of lying and waging a failing war against al-Qaida.

To solidify his position, bin Laden then makes an unprecedented appeal to the United States, offering a "long-term truce with fair conditions that we adhere to. ... Both sides can enjoy security and stability under this truce so we can build Iraq and Afghanistan, which have been destroyed in this war" if President Bush simply continues the Clinton policy of "don't ask, don't tell" regarding terrorists and the deaths of American citizens.

As I see it, bin Laden hasn't spent much time in Iraq lately, or he'd see firsthand the country is already being built quite nicely without his 'help'. President Bush noted that six months ago, "nearly all" of Iraq's schools were closed. He said many primary schools lacked electrical wiring, plumbing and windows. But today, he said, "all 22 universities and 43 technical institutes and colleges are open, as are nearly all primary and secondary schools in the country."

Emphasizing the success in rebuilding schools in Iraq, the president said the United States had hoped to rehabilitate 1,000 schools by the time school started. However, this month, just days before the first day of class, he said, "our coalition and our Iraqi partners had refurbished over 1,500 schools."

And then there is the economy. More than 30,000 new Iraqi businesses have registered since liberation, and according to a recent survey, more than three-quarters of Iraqi business owners anticipate growth in the economy over the next two years.