Mass exodus of liberal celebrities from Canada

Angered and humiliated by the defeat of their party in the recent election, Canadian liberal celebrities, who took a cue from their American counterparts, are making good on their promise to leave their country if conservatives took power, and are exiting Canada en masse.

Border officials have been forced to work overtime as the lines of Range Rovers and Citroens have grown increasing longer on a daily basis. The fleeing liberals have clogged up the border checkpoints, causing traffic jams as they jostle around each other in their adamant refusal to wait patiently. "It's inexcusable that the government hasn't set up special celebrity queues," insisted Celine Dion. "These long lines are for regular people. Not celebrities like me and John Candy." When told that John Candy was dead, Celine replied, "Well that's no reason to make him wait in line, too!"

The long wait to emigrate is only part of the problem for the renegade progressives. Finding a liberal oasis to call home is the real issue. Most of the liberals were enroute to Denmark when the brouhaha regarding the muslim prophet cartoons erupted. And when the celebrities were informed that the rate of private gun ownership in Denmark was among the highest in europe, they suddenly felt that their private armed bodyguards were not likely to give them the extra security that celebrities require.

"No liberal-minded celebrity wants to live in a barbaric society where citizens carry weapons," explained Alec Baldwin. Baldwin who is not Canadian, but supports other liberals who threaten to leave their country of origin if their political ideologies are rejected by the majority of citizens, made an appearance at the Lester B Pearson International Airport in Toronto. He was accompanied by a small entourage of armed bodyguards.