Another grim milestone
This evening, as I was driving home from work, a bright orange ember suddenly flew out of the window of the Ford Explorer immediately in front of me. A quick mental calculation confirmed that it was a grim milestone. Perhaps minor, but a milestone nonetheless. That milestone was the 10,000th lit cigarette butt flicked nonchalantly out a car window in my general direction.
I'll confess that I can be rather critical of other drivers from time to time. People driving slower than is socially acceptable in the fast lane. Others who only have a vague idea what a signal indicator is, and should be, used for. And people double park their cars as they load or unload their toddlers in their daily car pool, when they could easily pull ahead 2 car lengths and park by the curb will always have a place in my heart as ignoramouses.. or is that ignorami? Yet these people can easily be written off as egocentric louses who simply don't realize there are other people in the world who might want to carry on their lives uninhibited by the callow individuals around them.
The same can't necessarily be said about smokers who inflict their nauseating habit on others around them with impunity. Sure, some more 'sensitive smokers' will be kind enough to blow their smoke over your head as they talk to you. Which relieves us of the immediate desire to puke on the smoker's shoes. Hardly a fair compromise, I think. I would at least prefer the option to retaliate in such a deserved manner once in a while.
Yet sensitive or not, I don't know of a single smoker who uses the ashtray in his or her car. Because.. well, that would be gross. Even the smoker recognizes that. But he thinks nothing of rolling down the window and hurling that fiery butt wherever the wind takes it. Anywhere is fine as long as it's away from the smoker.
I believe my disdain developed when I owned a cherry Mustang convertible. I was enjoying a open-air drive on a beautiful day when the driver in front of me disposed of his cigarette into my backseat with the help of a gust of wind. I pulled over as soon as I realized what happened, but it was too late. I, who have never smoked in a car in my life, was rewarded with a burn in the seat fabric about the size of a quarter. The smoker was long gone, totally unaware that he caused approximately $300 damage to my car with a flick of his wrist.
Consequently, the sight of a lit ember exiting a car window now causes me to reflexively proclaim that driver "Number One" with a single-finger salute.
Now, I have to admit that I have a certain weakness of my own. I eat Taco Bell burritos on a regular basis. I can't help it. I'm addicted. And of course I can't eat a burrito that isn't smothered in that delicious taco sauce. The kind that comes in those little squishy packets. And what are you supposed to do with those packets once you've squeezed most of the sauce onto your pseudo-mexican food? I save them in the car. And when I see a smoker behind me, I try to make him feel a little better about his disgusting personal habits by flipping a half-used packet out over my roof and onto his hood, just to say "Hey, I can relate, man. Peace, brother."
It's also helpful with tailgaters.
But for those of you who don't see the humor in the trillions of cigarette butts that are thrown out car windows each year, there's something you can do. Note the license plate, and report the vehicle online at www.litterbutt.com. After all, those cigarette filters take 15 years to decompose, and contaminate the environment with various toxins. Every little butt hurts.. and every little bit helps.
I'll confess that I can be rather critical of other drivers from time to time. People driving slower than is socially acceptable in the fast lane. Others who only have a vague idea what a signal indicator is, and should be, used for. And people double park their cars as they load or unload their toddlers in their daily car pool, when they could easily pull ahead 2 car lengths and park by the curb will always have a place in my heart as ignoramouses.. or is that ignorami? Yet these people can easily be written off as egocentric louses who simply don't realize there are other people in the world who might want to carry on their lives uninhibited by the callow individuals around them.
The same can't necessarily be said about smokers who inflict their nauseating habit on others around them with impunity. Sure, some more 'sensitive smokers' will be kind enough to blow their smoke over your head as they talk to you. Which relieves us of the immediate desire to puke on the smoker's shoes. Hardly a fair compromise, I think. I would at least prefer the option to retaliate in such a deserved manner once in a while.
Yet sensitive or not, I don't know of a single smoker who uses the ashtray in his or her car. Because.. well, that would be gross. Even the smoker recognizes that. But he thinks nothing of rolling down the window and hurling that fiery butt wherever the wind takes it. Anywhere is fine as long as it's away from the smoker.
I believe my disdain developed when I owned a cherry Mustang convertible. I was enjoying a open-air drive on a beautiful day when the driver in front of me disposed of his cigarette into my backseat with the help of a gust of wind. I pulled over as soon as I realized what happened, but it was too late. I, who have never smoked in a car in my life, was rewarded with a burn in the seat fabric about the size of a quarter. The smoker was long gone, totally unaware that he caused approximately $300 damage to my car with a flick of his wrist.
Consequently, the sight of a lit ember exiting a car window now causes me to reflexively proclaim that driver "Number One" with a single-finger salute.
Now, I have to admit that I have a certain weakness of my own. I eat Taco Bell burritos on a regular basis. I can't help it. I'm addicted. And of course I can't eat a burrito that isn't smothered in that delicious taco sauce. The kind that comes in those little squishy packets. And what are you supposed to do with those packets once you've squeezed most of the sauce onto your pseudo-mexican food? I save them in the car. And when I see a smoker behind me, I try to make him feel a little better about his disgusting personal habits by flipping a half-used packet out over my roof and onto his hood, just to say "Hey, I can relate, man. Peace, brother."
It's also helpful with tailgaters.
But for those of you who don't see the humor in the trillions of cigarette butts that are thrown out car windows each year, there's something you can do. Note the license plate, and report the vehicle online at www.litterbutt.com. After all, those cigarette filters take 15 years to decompose, and contaminate the environment with various toxins. Every little butt hurts.. and every little bit helps.
posted by JoeFriday at 6:07 PM
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