Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Common myths, and other misinformation.

It takes 7 years to digest bubble gum. Wrong. It takes 7 years to digest airplane food.

The Great Wall of China is the only manmade object visible from outer space. As if. Several IKEA lifestyle centers are identifiable in Hubble images. And Madonna's "self-image compound" has been the discussion aboard more than one space shuttle flight.

Humans use only 10 percent of their brains. MRI images show that the average human uses well over half of his cerebral cortex. This myth has been reinforced by a recent study of the brains of politicians, with several prominent members of Congress falling far short of the public average. And Democrat leaders being in the single-digit range.

Adults don't grow new brain cells. See the post above.

Water drains backwards in the Southern Hemisphere compared to the Northern Hemisphere. That only occurs in places where people drive on the left side of the road.

Animals can warn us of impending disasters. While it technically is true, the reality is that they won't. Don't bother to look around for Whiskers after that big earthquake. She'll have already hitched a ride to France.

A penny dropped from the Empire State Building could kill a pedestrian. With the price of a hot dog from a street vendor in New York City topping $6, it's doubtful a penny would go noticed anywhere in the Big Apple, regardless of how far it falls. Unless it's sitting on a subway rail and derails the train.

A dog's mouth is cleaner than a humans. Tell me that one again right after you see Fido with his head buried between his legs for five minutes.

Men think about sex every seven seconds. It just seems that way. Although that might be the case for a male between the ages of 13 and 23, eventually a man's hormones ease off and those thoughts are replaced with plans for the next fishing trip. Ironically, this is exactly the same time that a woman's hormones kick in like a furnace turned on for the first time after you return from your week long ski trip. That's when nature has its little joke and women finally find out how it felt for us guys all through high school and college when our dates 'just want to talk.'

A falling cat will always land on its feet. I've tested this one personally, and it only happens about 70 percent of the time. Of course, I have to admit that I found the test a bit tedious and started inventing clever ways to 'drop the cat'. The football spiral nearly always produced contrary results. As did duct-taping a paper bag over the cat's head.

In space no one can hear you scream. This is more of a philosophical myth, along with the tree falling in the forest. The truth is that anyone can hear you scream in space. They just figure you deserve your untimely demise for starring in a Ridley Scott movie.

Chicken soup can cure the flu. Hello! Have you heard of the bird flu? Duh.

Seasons are caused by the Earth's proximity to the sun. Seasons are actually caused by television programming executives.

Cockroaches are the only animals that can survive a nuclear blast. I don't have any empirical evidence to back this up, but I believe telemarketers will be among the survivors, as well.

Hair and fingernails continue to grow after death. This is only a slight deviation from reality. Hair and nails stop growing when bodily functions cease. But it will be the only good hair day you've had in months.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home